My next work placement was in a small children's home in Hull. It was run by a married couple Barbara and Bernard, She was a large lady with long black hair. Barbara was full of character and very welcoming. She clearly loved the children in her care and was very fair, practical and down to earth. The home housed ten children. Some of the children were in the home because of behavioural problems and others had been removed because they had been abused by their parents.
I recall one little girl in particular who came to the home during my stay. Ann was under two years of age and came to the home from prison where she had been looked after by her mother. I cant recall whether Ann was born in prison but she had spent a considerable time there with her mother. Ann was a very pretty child with blonde hair and blue eyes. On admission to the home she was surprisingly friendly and would go to anyone for cuddles and affection. However the time she spent in the care of the prison had had an affect upon her in that she hated doors being open and would constantly run to shut them.
At the time Ann was the star of the home and the older children loved nurturing her, Barbara was delighted to have such a young child to care for and developed a strong bond with her.
After Ann's placement we learnt that her mother was again in prison and again pregnant. She gave birth to Mike in prison. Mike was removed from his mother's care and placed in foster care and then in the home. Again Barbara was thrilled and I learnt later that she left the home to adopt Ann and Mike. After leaving the home I kept in touch with Barbara and Bernard and they told me that whilst Mike had grown up to be a balanced young man they had had many problems with Ann who rebelled during her teenage years, left Barbara and Bernard care and began to repeat her birth mother's pattern by getting involved in crime and having children by different men. Ann's story is a sad one and her early childhood experiences clearly had an impact upon her. We now know that for a child to be separated from its mother during toddler years can have a serious affect upon the child's ability to form secure and healthy attachments in later life and despite the love and security Barbara and Bernard tried to give Ann perhaps the damage was already done before she was placed in their care. Mike on the other hand was removed from his mother's care at a much younger age and he clearly formed a secure attachment to Barbara and Bernard enabling him to enjoy healthy relationships in the future.
Its sad to think that during those days the emotional impact upon children of separation and abuse was not really recognised and therapy was not a common feature in the child's care plan. Fortunately today such issues are recognised and children have a far better chance of getting help to prevent repeating their parents patterns.
Whilst I was at the home the man that I had met in London continued to ring me and begged me to return. I had visited him on a number of occasions and thought that I was in love with him. He told me that he loved me and that he had a flat for us both to live in.. Although I enjoyed working at the home I missed London and I also really wanted to be with Chris.
My mind was made up and I began looking for work in London. Looking back moving in with Chris was perhaps one of the worst decision I had ever made but more about that tomorrow.
Have a good day everyone
Pat
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